I didn’t even do anything. I didn’t mean to do anything.
I was off school for a week, a whole week. But I can’t remember all of the days. The first bit I can only remember the feeling. Of like living inside a cloud, a heavy orangy pinky cloud. Hot, really really hot, and then if you open your eyes, white bright light, like maybe you were living in the sun instead. But at the same time cold, really cold. Hot and cold at the same time. After a bit it got a bit darker and you can open your eyes, but it wasn’t a good idea because the walls won’t stay still and they’re coming to get you. When you had your eyes shut you could still feel them pushing on your head but it was nicer not looking at them.
Anyway then it was Wednesday and I was really thirsty like so thirsty and Aunty Lindy told me drink up you’ve been poorly sick, and the walls were staying where the walls are meant to stay and I was home from the cloud and the sun and back in my bed and I was better. But I was feeling all floppy and sleepy like next door Jamie’s puppy dog after he does running in the park. So I had some more off school days.
When it was Monday today I did feel fine, super fine, more fine than that. I was feeling so bouncy and strong I could fly to school if I wanted, except you can’t fly you have to get the bus number 711, but if I wanted I could fly or run really really fast to school I was feeling so fine. I done some running off the bus and to my locker. Then I done running down the whole corridor to my classroom 14b really fast super quick and all the way to my seat where I sit for register in the morning.
Kacey Ellis was sitting on my seat.
Kacey Ellis does not sit in our group, she is not in our group she is not allowed in our group. She is not allowed because on the first day of school she came in and she had the Hello Kitty backpack from the window of the shop by the sports centre and everyone already knew that Jada wants the Hello Kitty backpack she asked her mum and her granddad and she begged and she even cried and she is not allowed the Hello Kitty backpack because actually she already has a new backpack which is pink and has sparkles on it. But Kacey has the Hello Kitty backpack so she is not allowed in our group.
But she was sitting on my seat.
I said Kacey you’re on my seat. Get up Kacey I need to sit on my seat. Kacey looked at me but I don’t think she can see me. She didn’t move or say Hello Hanna. Everybody was sitting on their seat but everybody was looking, and I said Kacey is on my seat.
Then Jada said something. No said Jada. It is Kacey’s seat. Go away. But Jada is my best friend and my seat is next to Jada’s seat. Kacey’s seat is my seat.
Kacey is my best friend said Jada. She did come to my party and play. When you are a best friend of someone you need to go to their party. Then the big bell for starting time did ring really loud and Miss said everyone in their seats quick quick and I was looking around and only one seat had not got somebody on it and it was in the middle of all the boys and I must sit on it.
I did not go to Jada’s party. I was poorly sick. Actually I did forget there was a party because of being sick.
All the morning I was sitting at the boy table with the boys and nobody was talking to me. I was feeling not so super fine now. I was having a feeling in my tummy like it was full of caterpillars and worms wriggling and squiggling. Jada did draw a picture at drawing time and it had glitter and she did give it to Kacey for a present.
Now it is playtime which is the best time, except now it is really the most bad time because at playtime you need somebody to play with and I can not play with the boys from my boy table because I am a girl and I can not play with Jada because I am not her best friend and I can not play with Kacey because she can play with Jada and I can not play with anyone.
I can sit on the carousel but I can not make it go around you need two people to turn the wheel. Carousel is stupid anyway. Carousel is for babies. We did play carousel last term. Now we do play hopscotch throw the pebble and jump hop jump hop to the end.
Jada and Kacey are hopscotching. Jada is hoppy scotching to the number five square and then back again. Now it is Kacey’s go. She has put the pebble on the number seven square. That is after the number five square. Kacey is winning.
No says Jada. You done it wrong. You have to throw to number four. She is taking Kacey’s pebble and moving it. Now Kacey is not winning. Jada is winning. That is the rule. Jada is the winner. If you are not letting Jada be the winner you are not allowed in our group.
But I think maybe Kacey does not know the rule, because she is new. She is taking her pebble back and putting it on the number seven square. I am feeling the squiggly squirmy wormy caterpillar feeling again, but this time I am feeling it for Kacey. She is new and she doesn’t know. Jada will tell her.
No says Jada again. You are cheating. I am winning.
But Kacey shakes her head no. It is number seven, not number four.
Jada tells her now. If you are doing that then you can not play. You have to play number four.
Now Kacey knows. But now Kacey does not care. It is number seven she is telling Jada. If it is not number seven then I do not want to play anyway.
Now the caterpillars are really worming in my tummy because I can see Jada’s face and I know what she is going to do. She is going to do screaming. She is going to do screaming and then Kacey can not play.
But when Kacey can not play then I can play. I can sit in my seat and I can be Jada’s best friend, even though I did not go to Jada’s party because I was poorly sick. Jada is doing screaming and it is going through the air like the whistle that the train makes and I am doing thinking but I am also pretending that I can see Jada’s screaming in the air like the train smoke.
I am thinking about playing with Jada. Everything was ruined but now Kacey is not allowed to play then maybe everything is actually finally fixed. I am thinking this, and I am waiting to feel super fine again. But the caterpillars are still in my tummy.
Then a different thing comes thinking into my head. And when the different thing is thinking, I can feel all the caterpillars turning into fluttery butterflies and instead of squiggling and wriggling they are dancing. Now I am telling my feet to go forward but they are stuck to the playground floor they are naughty feet they are not listening they are not super brave.
I am stuck, and I am watching Jada and Kacey and I am not moving. Jada is telling Kacey go away you can’t play and Kacey is going to number seven and taking her pebble.
Now Jada is coming to me and my feet are still stuck and I can not move and I can not speak. Jada will tell me you can play now. She will be my friend.
Thinking this is like a magic spell because it has made my feet unstuck and now they are walking over the playground. They are walking walking walking to the hopscotch, but naughty feet, brave feet they are walking straight past Jada. I can hear a little voice and I think it must be mine, and it is talking.
It is saying Kacey would you like to play carousel with me.