I really didn’t want to do exercise today. I’d been out and about all day, got home around 5 and tried to tell myself that all the walking I’d done would count as my day’s quota. Then I had a moment of honesty and admitted to myself why I didn’t want to do more. My plan for today was to hit the gym, and two things were holding me back.
One, it’s a new gym. I joined about a week ago but hadn’t been yet. I find gyms quite intimidating anyway, but walking into a new one especially so. I don’t know where the changing rooms are, or how anything works, and I really don’t want advice from a personal trainer about what I should be doing.
Two, the new gym is in ex-boyfriend territory. When I was filling out the registration online from the safety of my own home, I talked myself into believing that I was not the kind of person to let that sort of thing dictate what I do or where I go. Once it was time to actually go there, I was more fixated on ‘what if I see him and he thinks I’m a stalker’.
Neither of those reasons were going to go away, meaning that I really just needed to get on with it. So I did.
To be honest, I did a pretty rubbish half-hour workout. Ten minutes on the cross trainer and twenty on the bike. Plus I couldn’t figure out how to adjust the height of the bike seat or the handlebars so I was stuck in a ridiculous bum-in-the-air-hands down-by-my-knees position the whole time. I have some stupid anxiety issues about talking to people so I didn’t ask anyone to help and it was unbelievable uncomfortable. Between now and my next visit I’ll be scouring the internet for that particular model so I can learn how to adjust things! Some days I’m embarrassed at how pathetic I am, but today I’m just glad that I at least got up and went to the gym in the first place.
I actually love my gym chain. It’s basically designed for people like me who don’t want to talk to anyone. It’s pretty cheap and basic, with no staff as such (there are freelance trainers etc), and each member gets a pin number which opens the front door. You have to register online, and there’s no front desk, so if you don’t want to have contact with humans, you literally never have to. I think gyms and gym people are pretty scary for lots of new users, but this makes it a lot easier.
On a side note, I quit smoking two and a half years ago, and in the last couple of months I’ve noticed a dramatic improvement in my stamina and lung function. Are the two things connected? Seems a bit late, but I can’t imagine what else it would be.
Anyway, here’s to tomorrow.