Give Me Strength (30 Days, Day 14)

Just done a 20 minute full body workout from my exercise app. I chose it because I thought it’d be a cop out – less effort and hassle than gym or running. It’s basically 20 moves, each repeated for a minute. The app randomly picks the moves, so it usually ends up with  a lot of cardio grouped together, I get puffed out, half-heartedly flap my way through the rest and spend about 30 seconds per minute lying on the floor watching the clock tick down. Today for some reason there was hardly any cardio, which kind of worked out as meaning I could keep going all the way through, whilst also making the whole thing much harder…. 

Resistance training is a bit of a foreign concept to me. I supposed I was raised thinking that the faster you were moving, the more exercise you were doing. The exercise we did at school, and which I whole-heartedly sucked at, was either fast-paced team sports like netball and hockey, or athletics. I briefly believed that I was good at sprinting, only to realise that in a rare fit of supportiveness, it was my mum telling me that, and it was actually not true. I quite liked hockey, but you had to be able to work with other people, and also the ball was very hard and scary. Anyway. I always thought that speed equalled exercise. I never realised that you could move so slowly and expend so much energy at the same time. I was doing some lunges today and for  a second I thought I would vomit. I have eaten an entire bag of Co-op mini brownie bites (yep that’s 400 calories), and if I’d gone for a run, I would have fully expected to find myself discreetly puking in a park bin, but I didn’t expect it doing something that doesn’t get me out of breath.

Note: I have never puked in a park bin.

One of the major issues I have with my body is how weak it is. I am pretty much muscle free. I weigh much less than you’d expect from looking at me, and it’s because I’m all fat and no solids. Some comedian once made a quip about being the only person in the world to be skinny and flabby – that’s basically me. I lie down to do a simple abdominal exercise and realise that I can’t create any movement in my body using that muscle, because that muscle doesn’t exist in my  body.

So as it turned out, my choice of exercise today was an ok one, even if it was made out of laziness. It reminded me that I have a core (I think – although there’s a good chance I may be hollow), and that I’d like it to be able to support me a bit more. It also stopped me from feeling complacent. Running is not easy but I know I can complete the podcast each time. I’m allowed to be bad at climbing because I’m new, and I’m by no means the worst. Yoga seems to have this whole ‘just try your best, you’re doing great’ vibe so I never feel like I’m doing it wrong. I needed a little reminder that exercise is partly about putting effort in, in order to see results and improvements. I needed a reminder that I have specific areas in which I lack strength and skill, and that I need to be systematic about working those areas. I also needed something to be hard, so that I’d want to do it better next time. I’ve really run out of steam on the whole exercise thing. My climbing friend is away, which means we won’t go for 2 weeks, and I’ve lost a lot of enthusiasm for doing exercise by myself. I’m glad that today was a bit tough. It made me want to persevere.


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2 Responses to Give Me Strength (30 Days, Day 14)

  1. firebirdyoga says:

    I’m the same way! My muscles never get any use and I’ve never been very active until now, so even one pushup can be a struggle. You’ll get there, don’t worry!

  2. Pingback: *Insert great catchy title about not giving up* (30 Days, Days 15 & 16) | freemindloudvoice

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